It has been a while since I’ve had the time to sit and write to you. You have been growing too quickly and keeping me very busy, its hard to keep track of all of our special memories together. Many events have happened in our lives that are keeping us on our feet, running errands, traveling, bonding, and growing. It seems like there isn’t enough time to sit and think about our days, but here I am once again writing and remembering those little moments that have brought us closer together.
Shortly after a rainy Halloween, we flew down to Florida. It was election week in the United States and the blue and red signs covered the curb lawn until no green was visible to the naked eye. Cookie cutter houses and the closed in communities are splattered around uncontrollably in the state. Everything looks the same and plain, but there was something special about our week in Florida. There was a feeling of serenity floating around in the air that made our time there relaxing. Life goes by slower down there and the weather was deliciously hot. We spent most of our days next to the pool, teaching you how to swim and chasing you around so that you wouldn’t fall into the pool.
Not long after we returned home we began packing for our next trip. We were headed to Banff for a Christmas family reunion. I was very excited to reunite with my family once again. It had been about 5 years since we had spent Christmas together and this was a special one for us because it was your very first one. We spent three whole weeks preparing for that special day at the Elkhorn Lodge. Every other day the smell of cookies would put us all on a Christmas spirit trance. I packed presents until the wee hours of the night ever night, sneakingly making sure the wrapping paper wouldn’t wake you or your cousin up. Every night I went to bed and watched you sleep, so innocently unaware of my piercing eyes.
Later on our first week, after learning about the Sandy Hook shooting, I went to bed troubled. The pain of losing a child is incomprehensible to me. I looked at you and instantly became grateful for the blood rushing through your veins and the warmth that you radiate. I lied down, staring at the ceiling as you slept peacefully next to me. The log walls looked kind of eerie in the dark, the wood would always creak and the furnace would rumble through the night. It was peaceful and warm in our cabin. I closed my eyes and I concentrated on your breathing. There was nothing more relaxing than the reassurance that you are healthy, alive and happy. I took that moment and I savored every second of it. Then you let out the custest toot, which instantly brought a smile to my face.
Daddy came close to Christmas time and brought with him a nasty flu. Christmas eve was beautiful. Colombians and Mexicans reunited for a feast, bunuelos and a hearty bowl of Mexican posole were among the hit dishes that night. Of course, my cookies were a major hit and were sold out almost instantly after being set out on the counter. All of you, kids, were happily fighting over toys and crying for more sweets as we anticipated the arrival of Santa Claus. Everyone else played games and stuffed their bellies with food waiting impatiently to rip open their presents. I, on the other hand, was busily taking care of your father who was battling a 39.9 fever on the couch. It was a Christmas to be remembered and I would not have had it any other way!
Sometimes it only takes the right song for me to feel like I’m bubbling up with words that need to be written down. Its been a month full of adventures, great memories were made and now its time to jot my feelings down before I forget. You are now an energetic little man who has his own mind, his own way of doing things, who wants things a certain way, and who cannot get enough of mom and dad.
You are walking like you have been walking your whole life, with much experience; your confidence only keeps growing and sooner or later you’ll be running, climbing, jumping off things and…. oh wait, you already do that too!!
The best part of this whole experience is when I look at you and you are staring at me, watching my every move, analyzing me intently with loving eyes, not judging, but loving me. Being a mommy is hard when I cannot understand what you want, you kneel on the floor bouncing up and down with a frown on your face and a frustrated scream. I pick you up all the time, but what I do? All I can do is kiss you, kiss every part of you, hug you tight and keep you close to me. I pray every day that I get better at following my intuition and trust that what I do is the right thing for you. No matter what, however, you’ll stare at me, not judging me, but loving me. Thank you, son. You are a kind loving little man.
Celebrating Dada’s birthday, finally another great family picture!First time on a swing.Cold day at the sand box.Family outing at Downey’s Farm.
Two weeks ago we started a journey to where majestic landscapes exist. The Canadian Rockies are, by far, the most breath taking view my eyes have ever laid eyes on. This beautiful scenery makes the awful flight to our destination and the virus that is still lingering in our systems totally worth it.
Our trip started a little bumpy with a sickness that spread to every person we saw. The recycled air on the plane and the man coughing like a mad dog behind us are, unfortunately, the ones to blame. However, I feel like I cannot complain because our trip was amazing! You were amazing. You did not cry when we flew, you did not cry when you were held by my sisters, you did not cry when you were held by strangers, and you did not cry going to sleep in a different bed. You were just amazing! Well… except for that bug. I made sure to take you to the hospital in Banff so that we would have some peace of mind and enjoy our trip better.
Canada day surprised us with a huge parade downtown Banff. About 40 thousand people flooded the streets wearing red and white, some wore cowboy hats, while others adorned themselves with over-the-top accessories. We saw young crowds sitting on roof tops and drinking while the majestic Rockies sat beautifully behind them as backdrop, every window in every building full of people with horns and flags all screaming joyous chants. The energy was ecstatic, but then again our whole trip was ecstatic. Days later, our trip turned more mystical when we saw our first bear and mountain goats just sitting quietly on the side of the road, minding their own business. Cars stopped and people whipped out their cameras, paparazzi style, shooting pictures as if there was no tomorrow. We also hiked Tunnel Mountain and Johnston Canyon, which are by far the best family friendly hikes anyone can do in Banff National Park and extraordinarily beautiful. We made a quick stop at the Cascade gardens and ponds, we might have also pretended to be guests at The Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel, shhhh; we got into a gondola that took us to the top of the world, and then we baptized you. That was the highlight of our week. You wore a beautiful gown and bracelet with your name engraved to it. Your father on the other hand, was the only one under-dressed at the ceremony and was made fun of the whole day. The little church was beautiful and full of colour and your God parents were so thrilled to be part of such a joyous occasion. Carolina and Mauricio are by far the best aunt and uncle anyone could ever ask for to you and Nico. We had an amazing family get-together and fun trip!
We sure need a vacation after our vacation to recharge our batteries.
Winter came and left, Spring peeked through, but Summer jumped ahead and now our days end at 9:30 PM. Our days are longer, you are older and we get closer. Every day I fall more in love with you; your smell, your laugh, your breathing, your stare, you eyes, your heart… its all just building up inside. You are amazing, unique little boy, who will always have a place in my heart.
Mother’s day was a lovely day. We woke up and cuddled. Daddy gave mommy her presents and we left to see Grandma Charlie. I am embarrassed to say, however, that I thought it would be more special for me. Maybe being a mommy for 4 months doesn’t really count, but I felt like I’ve done an okay job to deserve a great celebration for doing my best. I think Grandma Charlie deserves her praise, after all she’s been a mommy to 3 for 33 years, and that’s a heck of a long time! I think I wanted to feel like I’ve done more, but maybe I have to wait until you are old enough to be able pat myself at the back for being a great mommy.
With all that mommy drama aside, I am still so grateful to daddy and the way he made me feel loved and appreciated! He is just the best daddy and partner in the whole world. Daddy, if you are reading this I just want to say that I love you more than words can express.